by Finding the Peace in Your Pain
In 
my work, which is directed at enabling and supporting seekers to find their way through all of life’s ups and downs, the bends and turns, on the road to happiness, peace and joy, I often get asked the question
“How can I find peace amongst all of this pain?”
On this very precious journey to wholeness, surrender, peace and well-being … pain … whether mental, emotional, physical or spiritual, often raises its head in order to be seen and known.
The call to freedom seems to have the effect of inviting to the surface everything within us that is not free.
If we are not prepared it can take us by surprise. It can pull our whole focus into a contracted and painful experience of heavy, negative, stuck energies and physical symptoms combined. This can cast a dark and ominous cloud, at least temporarily, over our whole experience of ourselves and the world. Falling into what could be described as a big black hole, we are suddenly thrown into a full-on engagement with victim-hood, helplessness and despair. The downward spiral pulls us, floundering, into a vortex of self-criticism, depression, gloom and even more intensified pain.
From this place it is very difficult to even imagine how it would be to feel positive, peaceful and uplifted. Or to imagine being able to just ‘pull ourselves out of it’ and ‘get on with living’, as exhorted by the faceless voices of society internalised within
What kind of living is that?
At an energetic level the normal positive, loving and life-enhancing energy flow that, when unhindered, gives us clarity and a sense of peace, has been blocked or disrupted, overwhelmed or veiled. The light is there but we’re in denial of it.
The way has been shown to him whether he is grateful or in kufr” (S76A3)
‘Kufr’ contains the meaning of covering up, or being buried in the ground, or being in a state of denial.
At this point, seeing ourselves and our life in a good and positive light, free from internal conflict and agitation seems like some far-away, unattainable dream.
Just as dark sunglasses can block out the bright rays of the sun, you could just as well say that we have put on our dark shades and now we see the world as gloomy and dark.This can lead to us becoming stuck or lost in a kind of never-ending loop or circle where we take this as our defining reality, as “just the way it is”.
When we see our situation as negative, when we feel agitated or down, we are operating from a lower vibrational state which attracts more of the same. The negative energy creates a disturbance in the body’s energy field which acts like a magnet, drawing in more feelings of depression, anger, helplessness and pain. We lose sight of what it is to be joyful in life, what it means to be grateful, becoming totally self-absorbed in our pain.
If we are buried deep in the earth how can we look up and see the sky?
When we are in Kufr it seems like too big an effort, too big a jump, too heavy a task ….
This is the perspective of ego. Everything feels difficult, a struggle, overwhelming, often dramatic, very serious and of course all of this is ‘justified’.
Ego shouts ‘How can it be otherwise!’
It can feel like you’ve been turned into a heavy, immovable block of concrete or like you’re stuck in a deep pool of very sticky, black treacle.
So what can we do? Funnily enough this is, in fact, an ego question… ego is about ‘doing’. Ego is fearful and wants to resist, fight, ‘get rid of’ the problem … or resign itself to being closed down.
Our natural calling is simply to ‘be’
At the level of or true being what we are really aiming for, our natural calling, is simply to ‘be’… to reconnect and be in surrender to the true Source of our ‘being’, a place of acceptance, allowing and easy flow.
So how can we reconnect?
The true self, beyond ego, is accessed by becoming very still and turning our focus inwards.
He guides unto Himself all who turn unto Him (S13A27)
We can start by bringing our attention to the breath (this gives ego a job and it is always happy when it has a job to do) and then by taking a few deep breaths in, allowing ourselves to relax … the eyes… the neck … shoulders etc … down to the feet
Once we have become more still and deeply relaxed, the way is opened for us to take a look at ourselves from the standpoint of a compassionate witnesser. We then focus and observe what’s going on inside of us. We can simply ‘be’ with the ‘yukky’ feelings, allowing them to be there, without needing to ‘do’ anything about them.
Just sit with the energy and maybe explore. Does it feel heavy or light? Does it have a particular colour or texture? Which feeling is here? If more than one, which one is the strongest? Focus on that and continue to sit with it in an embrace of compassionate awareness.
Drop the story around it and allow yourself to be with the pure, raw emotion. The amazing thing about our true essence is that it is not static. By nature it is in flow and so when you connect through relaxing and allowing yourself to be still, your energy will flow into a higher state, all by itself, without you having to do anything.
The essence of the soul, the language of the heart is very subtle, like rays of the sun, radiating through, all by itself out of the stillness.
As we connect and surrender we start to transition ourselves to our higher and more joyful, positive vibration.
From low, to neutral to something ‘better’ or wider or more expansive. In that higher state your lower energies will feel acknowledged and will then simply dissolve, leaving you in a state of greater clarity and peace.
It is such a beautiful transformation, being able to notice, appreciate and contrast the difference between the lower, more contracted fear-based ego vibration and the more expansive, higher love-energy of the heart and soul. It gives us the ability to distinguish light from dark, love from fear, joy from pain. It empowers us with an awakened choice …. to turn our hearts towards the highest and most nurturing Source of our being.
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